One of the hardest things is to NOT have expectations of people and what they say or do to you. The worst is when it comes to people that are important to you. It's hard because you are emotionally connected to them. They mean something to you. So if they act a certain way, say a certain thing, or do/don't do a certain thing that YOU want them to do, then it acts like a trigger for a "not so favorable" response by ourselves. Or at least, that's the way we feel. It's THEM that makes us feel this way or makes us get angry or get sad, etc. But THEY cant "make" us feel anything like that. It's all on us and how we react to it. We all have triggers and we need to be aware of them and once we are aware, then we can work with them. I have a 17-year-old daughter, my firstborn. I love this girl to death and we have had MANY amazing times together as father and daughter. But, as it happens when kids grow up, that "cute" bond changes. I still want (expect) her to be excited when she sees me (or how she used to be) like I am when I see her. If she doesn't show that, or if she "appears" to not even notice that I even exist, I take it personally. Its a trigger of mine. I want to MAKE her be how she used to. But this is all MY expectation on her. I try hard to realize that just because it's not the "exact" way I want her to react or be, doesn't mean its wrong or bad. And even if she is being goofy, maybe she is dealing with something in her own world. I can't let myself just assume and react to her being rude to me. Now as a parent, if she is being rude, ill let her know she is being rude to me, but since I cant control how she is, I have to let her be her. The only expectation I can have is on ME and how I respond to the way she acts. It's not easy at all. But the more I can keep my expectations on ME and keep my "reactions" in check, then I am a much happier person. This does a TON for me and my own personal stress levels during my day but it also gives her a much happier dad. And if she needs me, then she has a happy dad to come to for whatever. This whole thing is EASIER said than DONE, but its a CONSTANT work in progress! :)
FEEL THE BURN!!!
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